Helpful tips…
For new parents
Becoming a parent is wonderful but there are many changes, and it can take a while to get used to those changes and settle down as a family.
Most partners have time off after the birth and this is a good time to spend time bonding with baby and helping with day-to-day things involved in keeping a family going, adjusting to the new way of life.
How to help…
General tips
Share preparing and cooking of meals. You will both feel better and cope with the lack of sleep better if you eat well. You could make larger batches of food on good days, so that you can have a meal ready in the freezer to heat up on the days when you feel very tired. Sometimes treat yourselves to a takeaway.
Make drinks for mum if she’s breastfeeding as she will be thirstier.
We are well aware that the advice to “Sleep when baby sleeps” is easier said than done but at least try and find a spare few minutes to take a break together or have a chat about how you’re both feeling.
Be hands on with the jobs that need doing about the house but if you’re both exhausted after a bad night, it is ok to just do the essentials.
If you have help available from family, don’t feel bad about accepting it. If they can help about the house, take an older child to and from nursery or school etc its one less thing for you to do.
If you have an older child spend some one-to-one time with them and help with any care they need or look after baby while mum spends time with them.
Its good for baby to spend time with partners too.
Try and spend some time cuddling baby and talking or singing to them – they won’t care how good your singing voice is! Have face to face contact.
Offer comfort when baby is upset, mum will sometimes need a break from that.
Bath baby and change nappies and take baby out in the buggy either together or on your own.
When you’re back to work.
The day can seem very long if you’re at home with baby alone. A quick call or even a message if you’re very busy will make a difference.
You may both be stressed by the time you arrive home from work. The baby may have been crying a lot and you may have had a busy day at work but try and find a few minutes to talk to each other. It will be really helpful if you can take baby for a cuddle when you come in, while your partner uses the bathroom unhurried and in peace or has the chance to have a hot drink and actually finish it.
Support each other
When you’re very tired its normal for one or both of you to feel stressed and at times overwhelmed. In the early weeks your partner is also recovering from the birth.
You may feel that your partner copes with your baby naturally and more easily. This isn’t always the case, she will have all the same worries as you – Am I getting this right, am I coping with the crying in the right way? Am I a good parent and is there anything more I can do? This situation is new to you both.
- Try and find time to talk, while you’re walking with the buggy can be a good time.
- Do admit if you find things hard and don’t be afraid to ask for help yourself if you need it. Speak to your Health Visitor or G.P.
- Look for dad support groups on social media, they often have local groups.
- Keep in touch with family and friends, chat to them or keep in touch online.
- Remind yourself it’s alright not to do everything perfectly, your baby and partner just need you there doing your best and that’s fine.